Tony Deyo

Stand-up Comedian

Don't sneeze...

I had the opportunity to perform in Mathews, VA, this past weekend with my good friend, Brett Leake. I had a lot of fun, and want to thank Brett for allowing me to perform with him.

I also want to thank the engineer who designed the bridge I had to drive across to get there. This is the Rappahannock River Bridge near White Stone, VA.

It’s two miles long… about 10 feet wide… two lanes… and the guardrail is exactly as tall as it appears in the photo… about 2 1/2 feet. And if that weren’t frightening enough already… the lanes are separated by a dotted line. That’s right… you can pass. How can this possibly be up to code? What was the meeting like with the engineer?

“Alright Mr. Bridge Man… we need a bridge… and we have a few requests. First of all, tax dollars are tight here… so don’t be too generous with the lanes. This ain’t no carnival ride.”

“Okay… no problem. With close lanes though, certainly you’ll want a nice, tall guardrail.”

“Bare minimum. Figure out what’s illegal… then one millimeter above that.”