Tony Deyo

Stand-up Comedian


I’m extremely allergic to shellfish. It’s not a life threatening allergy… my throat doesn’t swell up or anything, but I do throw up… a lot. Yesterday, at a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, I accidentally ate a crab dumpling. I thought it was pork. It tasted like pork. I didn’t get sick. There are only two possibilities for why this happened.

#1) There was way more rat meat in the dumpling than crab.


#2) My plan to drown the toxins with pumpkin pie and eggnog succeeded.

I really hope it’s the second one.