Tony Deyo

Stand-up Comedian

My least favorite phrase...

There’s a phase that is being uttered thousands of times every day, all over this country. I’ve never heard it, but I know it’s being said… and it is driving me insane. Here’s the phrase… “No, I don’t think I’ll be needing cruise control.” I don’t think a single day goes by when I don’t pass a guy, who then decides that as the proud owner of a Ford F-150 and a Dale Earnhardt sticker, he cannot stand idly by as a small man in an even smaller car passes him. Then he passes me and slows down again. It’s 2005… we’re well into the 21st century… probably 10 years away from flying our own personal hovercraft around… can we all just start getting cruise control on our vehicles? Please… I’m begging you.