Tony Deyo

Stand-up Comedian

Professional Athletes Who Can't Land a High Five: Part Two

This one was so grossly misjudged, I’m embarrassed for them. Steve Williams isn’t really an athlete… but Tiger is possibly the greatest athlete of all time. Even if Steve is coming in a little a little low, Tiger should be able to make a last minute adjustment.

I did a little research… to find out how this could have possibly ended so badly. There are some rules for landing a successful high five… that I found here.

1. Always initiate. He who launches the high-five owns the high-five. Engage your upper-arm muscles, keep your wrist firm, and propel your hand like the meteor of awesome it is. (Maintain altitude and an open hand — this ain’t no fist bump.) Your high-five can only surrender.2. Don’t look at the hand. That looming palm is a moving, unpredictable target. Instead, keep your eye on the elbow; that’ll automatically line up your mitts.3. Cup your palm. As you reach the high point of the arc, make your hand slightly concave to create that satisfying thunderclap.

The error was with the line of sight. I have diagrammed the problem here… in the hopes that we can all learn from this tragic mistake.