Tony Deyo

Stand-up Comedian

Things I've Learned in NYC... #3


Something you find in the city, that you rarely find in the suburbs, are a type of people they call “hipsters”. I didn’t know what they were… and I’m still not sure I do… but the best definition I can come up with is someone who is so inexplicably proud of their Goodwill Store clothing purchases, they just have to grow a funny mustache. They’re always wearing some wacky hat, a 70’s button down or extra small t-shirt, and a giant handlebar mustache. Maybe a fu manchu. There’s always weird facial hair of some sort. Where were these guys when I was in middle school? They could have saved me from some beatings. Who wants to punch the band nerd when you can wedgie a 12 year old in a fedora?