Tony Deyo

Stand-up Comedian

Whoops... accidentally smashed the rook

Steroids are officially a problem. I was okay with it in bodybuilding… I expected it in football… it even made baseball a little more exciting. But now, it’s a problem. Vassily Ivanchuk skipped a drug test at the Dresden Olympiad… presumably because he knew he would fail the test. “What’s the Dresden Olympiad?” you might ask. It’s a chess tournament. It’s not even chess boxing… just a regular chess tournament, and they had a drug test. Is this really necessary? Did you have a chess team in high school? Did anyone on the chess team look like they were on steroids? We had a chess team… and it looked like a casting call for “Freaks and Geeks”.

There’s no drug that will make you smarter. If there was, “reality television” wouldn’t exist. Jon and Kate would have to get real jobs.

If chess players are caught with steroids in their system… it’s probably because they’re trying to avoid getting wedgies at 38 years old.

Let’s look the other way on chess players on steroids, and maybe spend that test money on this guy…